Walking On Eggshells: The Journey of a Local Cancer Patient

Being a person who loves to travel and experience adventure, Michelle Deininger has discovered that the very things that often threaten our lives may also strengthen them. Having traveled to several foreign lands where she has experienced many things that most of us have not, Michelle has always planned to share these adventures with others by writing a book. Now, however, as she faces a terminal illness, her motivation to capture her experiences on paper does not come from seeing beautiful scenes in faraway lands but rather from the desire to share what she has learned on her current journey with cancer. 

"I've always been a hopeless procrastinator," confessed Michelle. "My number one focus has been

and still is to see the world and be a travel writer." However since being diagnosed with colon cancer last May, Michelle has felt too sick to go anywhere yet continues to keep a journal. "I'm going to write a "tell all book" on my experience with cancer," Michelle stated. "It will cover the whole nasty experience from being sick to being able to live through it with the support and love of my family and the community."

Michelle, 35, has always felt love and support in growing up with her family in Chicago but finds the amount of people offering to help her and her family as they currently reside in New Glarus to be simply unbelievable. "I just cannot believe the number of people who are willing to help," Michelle said in talking about the upcoming April 20 benefit planned to offset her medical expenses. "This would have never happen in a big city like Chicago and I feel so lucky that if it I had to get cancer that I got it in a small town."

Michelle joined her parents, Roland and Ursula, brother Rene and sister-in-law, Sandy, on a new family adventure when they all decided to move to New Glarus from Chicago six years ago to begin a family business. "My father was a chef at The Tavern Club in Chicago for over twenty years," explained Michelle. "He always wanted to own his own restaurant. He saw an ad in the Tribune for this location and we all loaded up the car to come and take a look. We liked the European appeal of New Glarus and decided to leave the city to try working together as a family."

Michelle admits that it was tough in the beginning, but now says "I love what we do." She explained "There is nothing better than a night where everything runs smoothly at the restaurant. A night where all the customers are happy, the bus kids are busy working, Rene and I are waiting tables, and my mom and dad are merrily cooking away in the kitchen - there's just nothing like it."

Michelle spent most of her life in Chicago and was widely exposed to different cultures at a very young age. Michelle said, "My parents both felt it was very important that I got to know my grandparents and that they know me. So I spent a couple of years with them in Germany, my first spoken language was German."

In Kindergarten back in the states, Michelle quickly learned English and later French. "My father would speak English to me while my mother spoke German," explained Michelle, "then when I had French classes in school my father would practice French with me."

Throughout her growing up years, the Deininger family traveled together to Europe and different places within the United States. "I remember seeing a book on the Inca ruins when I was in grade school," shared Michelle, "and I remember knowing that someday I was going to go there."

Upon graduating with a writing degree from Columbia College, Michelle embarked on her dream of seeing the world and becoming a travel writer by traveling up the Amazon River with her best friend in 1991. "It was just awesome," recalled Michelle. "I have lived my life in order to travel." She explained, "there are so many things that I have given up to travel; I have never owned a car, expensive clothes, cable TV or other things because I literally worked to travel."

While traveling she also limits money spent by sticking to the basics and not staying in five-star hotels or indulging in other luxuries. "I love to backpack, camp and go rafting," explains Michelle. "One of my favorite parts of traveling is doing the research beforehand and knowing the places to camp and backpack so I'm really able to see different parts of various countries."

Michelle recalls her trip to the plains of Serengeti in Africa "as the most magical and best trip" she has taken. "My mom has traveled with me everywhere except the Amazon," shared Michelle. "She was with me when I celebrated my 26th birthday during a three week photo safari in Kenya and Tanzania. We are just complete opposites and that helps us to travel well together."

Both Ursula and Michelle continued traveling over the years as they backpacked for two months through Alaska, toured the Inca ruins in Peru and Equador, sailed around the Galapagos Islands, and spent a month cruising through Texas and rafting the Rio Grande. "My mom is more gregarious than I am," explained Michelle. "She is the type that will gather people around a campfire to tell stories, whereas, I tend to be more adventurous and want to try rafting and other things, so we compliment each other."

The two later traveled to Thailand and Morocco before Michelle became ill. "We came back from Morocco in January 2001," explained Michelle. "In February I started feeling sick with a back ache, constipation and pain whenever I ate." By March her terrible backache kept her from being able to lift anything or work at the restaurant. "I didn't go to the doctor right away," recalled Michelle. "We were between insurance's with the insurance pull out in Green County and I figured I could read up on my situation and correct it thru diet."

On May 11, Michelle's medical journey began after being was diagnosed with colon cancer. "Right away the doctor scheduled me with a surgeon," explained Michelle. "By May 17, I had had the surgery and the tumor had been removed." Following a ten day hospital stay and being equipped with a colostomy, Michelle began six weeks of chemotherapy and radiation. "Every day except weekends, my mom dragged me to the UW for radiation and then to Meriter for the Chemo," stated Michelle. "She deserves a medal for all she's gone through."

The chemotherapy then stopped for a month before Michelle began receiving treatments again once a week for four months through December. "I felt pretty good during September and October," recalled Michelle. "Then in November my back pain returned." 

This February, she and her parents returned from a family trip to California to reopen the restaurant and have more tests done in effort to explain Michelle's continuing back pain. Unfortunately, a surprised doctor returned to their waiting room to inform them that Michelle's 'Pet Scan' had revealed that cancer had returned in just two short months.

"I don't know where the cancer is this time," shared Michelle, "and I don't want to know. I just want to fight it." Michelle tries not spend a lot of time thinking about the cancer other than time spent visualizing her white blood cells attacking the cancer in belief that her vivid imagination, strength and determination will give her a fighting chance.

The doctors stated that their options are limited as the cancer is inoperable and they are unable to give Michelle any more radiation.

Therefore, she was thrust into receiving a higher dose of chemotherapy weekly - attached to an iv. for two hours at a time. "Chemo day and the day after, I'm really sick with nausea and vomiting," explained Michelle. "Basically, I always have to be close to a bathroom because I just never know when I'm going to be sick as it comes on without any warning whatsoever."

While the chemotherapy attacks the cancer, its' side affects have caused Michelle to lose weight at an alarming rate. "Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't even recognize who I see because this is not who I am," stated Michelle. "I've always been the strong one in our family and now my emotions and my body are all screwed up due to the drugs they are giving me."

In addition to not feeling well and being unable to help her family at the restaurant the anxiety of not knowing what insurance will pay for while receiving these medical treatments worries Michelle the most. "My pills alone cost $25 a piece and the stress of worrying what insurance will pay for is just too much," expressed Michelle. "I try not to think about it as I know I already owe my family so much and not being able to help them financially at the restaurant just breaks my heart." Michelle says that while she misses not being able to help her family in running the restaurant, she is thankful to be sick during the restaurant's off season. "I just can't move fast enough," stated Michelle, "and sometimes I can't even talk as I'm so out of breath. So my family and co-workers have had to absorb my absence by doing so much more."

She continued to express her gratitude as she acknowledges Ruth Pauli, Rene and others who have filled in where she can no longer greet and serve guests at the restaurant. She also feels greatly humbled by the response of businesses and residents who are organizing the April 20 benefit to help offset some of her medical expenses.

"I am just so thankful for Connie Baquero and for the people I don't even know who are trying to help me and my family," stated Michelle. "I just feel so fortunate to have a really close family and people who want to help us. My dad (Roland) cooks for me and does whatever he can while my brother, Rene, and his wife, Sandy, offer me so much support through all of this. My mother (Ursula) now lives with me and does everything to take care of me. But the whole experience of the town wanting to help us out and offering to alleviate some of my medical costs is just so unbelievable that I'm not sure how to express my gratitude."

As Michelle states that "books and movies have always been my thing", the New Glarus community can be supportive in her journey with cancer as we all may gain wisdom from her being able to "live to tell about it" in her written book. "And ultimately," Michelle grins, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? It's like walking on eggshells and waiting for a bomb to hit."

Join the New Glarus Community in showing your support and encouragement for Michelle Deininger at the "STONE SOUP CAFE". Held in the New Glarus High School Commons Area, April 20, 4:30 - 8:00 p.m.. The menu of Soups, Salads, Ice Cream, Pie and Beverages are being donated by local restaurants and businesses so that 100% of the money raised will go to offset Michelle's medical expenses. Adult tickets are available for a minimum donation of $10 and children under 10 years of age are $5. Tickets are currently available at The Briar Patch and The New Glarus Bakery. Silent auction items are being accepted and displayed at The Briar Patch. Donations may be sent to the Michelle Deininger Trust Fund, c/o The Bank of New Glarus, PO Box 129, New Glarus, WI 53574.

Copyright 2002 Jim Salter
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Last updated: May 16, 2002.